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Post by Gabe Saporta on Mar 31, 2011 22:50:59 GMT -5
I stood quickly, trying to fix the situation before it got worse. Which it probably would anyway, but it was worth a shot. I opened the door to a nurse and an attendant, she looked familiar and I couldn't place why.
"I'll ask again, why was this door closed? Mr.Saporta is this even your room? Do you need to be shown back to your own?" I bit my tongue to keep from saying anything that didn't need to come out.
"I don't like open doors."
She smiled at me, and I realized that she was the nurse in red yesterday. Her scrubs today had little Mickey Mouses placed along in an undefinable pattern. I hated those types of scrubs. "I understand that, but the doors are to be left open until after bed check."
I didn't answer her and she looked past me into the room, my heart sped up for William.
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Post by William Beckett on Apr 1, 2011 2:03:02 GMT -5
I gripped the edge of notebook in Gabe's hand. My knuckles were going white except the two that were permanently grazed and still red from hours of rubbing against my teeth.
She only glanced at me for a moment as she walked away.
I don't think I'd ever been quite so relieved.
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Post by Gabe Saporta on Apr 1, 2011 4:24:49 GMT -5
I turned back around, heart rate slowing back to normal as I took my seat next to William again. "I kind of wish you would talk....but I'm just lonely I guess...it's nice to have someone around besides myselves sometimes."
I smiled at him, hoping that I was making sense, or at least sounded coherent. I was starting to worry about my medication wearing off, and worrying about the nurse coming back with needles or straps. Right now though I tried to focus on William....Eugene? I still wasn't completely sure.
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Post by William Beckett on Apr 3, 2011 2:23:38 GMT -5
He never seemed to use my name. That used to bother me, before the shadows came along. Now, though, I'm glad. It keeps me sane. I can switch between the identity I hate and the one I enjoy and not even realize, because I'm not being tied to a name. When the nurses had figured out that I was creating that second identity for myself (they said I couldn't have split personality, because I knew I was the same person, I was just trying to pretend I wasn't), they would switch names to match my behaviour. I swear it would have drived me mad if they kept it up.
He spoke to me so differently to everyone else here.
I leaned on his shoulder, closed my eyes and let myself smile. He spoke to me exactly the way I wished everyone else would.
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Post by Gabe Saporta on Apr 3, 2011 3:13:09 GMT -5
I didn't know why I let myself relax as much as I did around him. His room was pink and gray, everything had the same scratchy pattern as the rest of the hospital. No windows, dank lighting. But he was warm against my side, and some strange instinct told me to let my arm slide around his waist to hold him there. In that moment, there were no whispers, nothing telling him that he was fucking up or that this was all a trap. "It's quieter around you...."
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Post by William Beckett on Apr 3, 2011 3:23:14 GMT -5
I looked at him with wide eyes, thinking for a moment that he was just stating the obvious, what I already knew. I am silent. It is always quiet around me, except when the nurses find me on the floor again, bleeding or coughing or something. But today, it was quiet. And then I realized what he meant, that he meant so much more then that. I ran my fingers through his hair and smiled a little more.
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Post by Gabe Saporta on Apr 3, 2011 3:40:08 GMT -5
My eyes fluttered as I felt his fingers card through my hair. I smiled back to him, and something told me he go it. I didn't know if it was the crazy in me or if I actually saw a gleam inside his eyes. Who cared though, we were crazy...that's the point. The fact that I'd been allowed to find him was amazing enough for me not to question it.
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Post by William Beckett on Apr 3, 2011 5:34:12 GMT -5
We fit so perfectly, sitting there together. I didn't want to leave, not now, not ever. They'd come back for checks again soon though. I guess I had to. Eventually. But not just yet.
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Post by Gabe Saporta on Apr 3, 2011 6:07:09 GMT -5
"I wish we could run away from here together...." I don't know why I said it, we both needed help, lots of it. Yet, somehow it was true; if he could run away with William...Eugene...Blue..who cares....he would. "I wanna be blue with you." I smiled and quickly ducked my head down, unsure of his reaction.
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Post by William Beckett on Apr 3, 2011 6:51:14 GMT -5
I picked up the notebook and dug under my pillow, reaching delicately behind his back so as not to disturb him. I flipped to the back page and wrote for him two simple words: Not yet.
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Post by Gabe Saporta on Apr 4, 2011 1:39:15 GMT -5
I nodded, trying to understand. I liked his handwriting, it was shaky but smooth. I wanted to touch it, but I knew all I'd feel would be scratchy dry paper. I wanted to make a metaphor about him just from that, but it would be useless and pedantic. Instead I reached out and touched his hand. I didn't know what to do anymore around people, so i just did as I felt.
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Post by William Beckett on Apr 4, 2011 4:07:31 GMT -5
I think we were there for hours. I lost track of how long exactly. They eventually came back and seperated us. They eventually sent him back to his room and I was alone again. In the mean time, though, everything was perfect.
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Post by Gabe Saporta on Apr 4, 2011 18:17:32 GMT -5
For once I didn't mind them knocking me out with a too high dosage. It just meant that I'd sleep faster, and wake up sooner. It felt like I had a purpose again, or at least a reason to want to wake up. The dreams were still terrible, but they were quiet.
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Post by William Beckett on Apr 5, 2011 5:26:22 GMT -5
When I woke, my door was locked. It must be early, I rarely woke before the nurses came back and let me out. Of course, they didn't lock everyone in. I just had a tendancy to run. They wouldn't be doing checks yet. Not for another half hour or so. I didn't scratch before they arrived. Not once.
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Post by Gabe Saporta on Apr 5, 2011 20:30:03 GMT -5
I was actually conscious by morning checks, the orderlies seemed almost shocked at my smile and greeting of, "Good morning."
I didn't fight them, I let them walk me to the cafeteria. I ate the shitty excuse for food without thinking about the strange lumps in the oatmeal or how the milk would be expiring in 6 days. I was jittery, but I kept thinking that I would see him soon, and that was okay enough of an excuse to not think of anything else.
I sat in the lounge not too later, a nurse nearby was telling me about how is my behavior stayed this path I'd have grounds rights in no time. I just smiled at her until she felt uncomfortable and left. I'd have to remember that smiling is now more effective than glaring.
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