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Post by pattycakes on Mar 27, 2011 8:49:42 GMT -5
It's not that he's alone or even that he's lonely, it's just that, sometimes, Patrick really misses them. He misses the band, the guys, the stupid things they did that he really should miss but he does anyway. It's a mood he doesn't like, but can't help.
What makes him feel worse is that everyone else is enjoying the hiatus and he's just waiting for them to come back, like he's forcing them to hurry up with their own lives to keep him happy. He's like a child that needs to be entertained all the time, that can't think for itself. It makes him feel selfish. In his own head he think this is how Pete must feel, but he would never say it out loud. Really, he would never say any of it out loud and that's why he was stuck on a hiatus he didn't really want to be on in the first place.
Patrick has tried, is still trying, to do something with his life during their break. He's going to be playing shows again soon, even though he hates it. His album is coming out soon, even though he can't stand what he's made by himself. He's busy with interviews and banter with the fans to keep them hyped, talking himself up to be something he's not.
Crawling into bed, he checks his phone to find that it's only four in the afternoon. It's not like anyone needs him right now though, he can be a lazy recluse if he wants to. A lazy, depressed recluse that would kill for something sweet if it wasn't for the horrible diet he had put himself.
He snuffles into the pillows, phone shoved underneath them in an attempt to keep it in one piece, before sighing.
He misses his band, he misses his best friends and inside he's hoping they meant it when they said it was only a hiatus.
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Post by Pete Wentz on Mar 27, 2011 22:40:57 GMT -5
It was early in the evening and Pete had been left alone at the house, left to his own devices, inside his head. Left to think about his crumbling marriage, about how Ashlee and Bronx had been what was really keeping him around. Yes, he'd started his side-project, but honestly his words didn't fit together right, so he dumbed them down. His music didn't flow, so he chopped it up and taped it together and got someone to sing over it.
He was trying to busy himself, keep his mind off of how lonely he really had become. Sure, he still talked to his bandmates, but the times were few and far between. Conversations getting cut short or dates being moved further and further away for times to meet up and just hang out, catch up.
But what did they have to be caught up on? He spends the majority of his time lurking comments and replies on the internet. Why did fob break up!?!?!, My friend says she met you and ur an asshole are you?, Straighten your hair! you look stupid, you're getting divorced and i so called it. He's playing small shows here and there, leaking his own music onto the internet, but there's no big hype anymore. The most attention he's actually been given lately is becasue [i[Ashlee Simpson-Wentz files for divorce due to unreconsialable differences[/i].
He doesn't know what he's done wrong this time. Not entirely, nothing he hasn't apologized for or tried to fix, and she doesn't get it. She took Bronx to her parents for the weekend to let him sort his things out. He doesn't know how to though, he doesn't want anything but this not to happen. He doesn't know what to do anymore, so he does the only thing he ever does in these situations.
He calls Patrick.
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Post by pattycakes on Mar 28, 2011 3:27:48 GMT -5
Forty minutes had passed since Patrick had hidden himself in his bed like an angsty teenager. Forty minutes of silence in his house and in his head, thankfully. He had managed, in that time, to roll himself around in the blankets, tucked up in the sheets even though he still had his shoes on from a grocery sotre run ealier that day. Being a recluse was fine, if you had everything you needed in your house. It's not like he could call someone else to do his shopping for him, who would he even call? Joe? Andy? He didn't even think they were in the same city as him anymore. Anyway, they were busy with their own thing. Pete wasn't really an option, he had his own drama, what with the divorce and custody battle. It wasn't an issue though, Patrick rather liked doing his own shopping. It made him feel like a normal part of society.
His stomach grumbled, followed by a rather pitiful sigh. Hunger, bordem and depression were never a good mix. “I'll feed you soon, just let me wallow in my self pity for a little while longer, please.” He paused for a moment, laying in wait for the next growl of annoyance from his stomach. When it didn't make another noise he gave a small smile and patted it, pleased something had listened to him for once. “Thankyou.”
People would think he was going mad if they heard him talking to his stomach. Patrick laughed and pressed his face closer to the pillow. This wasn't insane, not yet, he knew insane. Insane was the the dares Pete and Dirty would give and actually carry out. It was the number of people they used to try and fit on a bus for tour night parties. This wasn't insane, it was just lonely.
He was so caught up with his own head, and stomach, that he almost didn't feel his phone go off. It vibrated under the pillow, tickling his cheek and causing him to scramble around under the sheets to get his hands on it. Pressing answer as he pulled it out from under his pillow, Patrick put it up to his ear, flopping onto his back to stare at the ceiling. “Hello?”
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Post by Pete Wentz on Mar 28, 2011 4:03:43 GMT -5
Pete's anxiety was starting to get the better of him after he'd scrolled through to find the number. He smiled sadly at the way the number was still listed under 'rick-ta-life', and he wondered if his name was still 'peter panda' in Patrick's phone.
Pete bit the inside of his cheek and pressed call, tried not to think about interrupting Patrick's world with his problems. The phone barely rang long enough for him to collect his thoughts.
Patrick's voice came through the speaker, a quiet hello. Pete couldn't help the small smile that appaeared, "Hey, it's me...you're not busy are you? ...because like..if you're in the studio with like big wigs or whatever I can call later or...uhm..but, yeah hey."
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Post by pattycakes on Mar 28, 2011 4:47:24 GMT -5
As the voice on the other end came through the speakers, Patrick sat back up in his bed, leaning against the headboard before pulling the phone away from his ear. With a quick check to the display, just to make sure he wasn't imagining it, he put it back to his ear and laughed. “Pete? No, hi, it's fine. I'm..uh, having a day off I guess? Not in the stuido at all today.” It wasn't a lie, he just wasn't going to tell Pete he hadn't been to the studio in almost a week now. That sort of thing he could keep to himself.
Putting one hand underneath him, Patrick pulled the pillow out with a huff and shoved it behind his back, leaning against it instead of the solid headboard. “So, hey to you too. Umm...any reason for the call? I mean, not that it's a problem, you can call when ever you want.” He wanted to add that Pete hadn't called in forever, wanted to call him out on it, but he just didn't have the heart. Patrick could never do that, it would just make the other man feel more guilty and he didn't want to do that.
He tucked one foot under his body, sighing into the phone. “Is it Ashlee?”
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Post by Pete Wentz on Mar 28, 2011 5:00:18 GMT -5
Pete's smile only grew as he heard the familiar laughter. Wanting to be able to look sideways and see Patrick sitting on the couch with him. But all that was there was a box full of tainted memories. His smile slowly faded as Patrick spoke, almost inverting at the last sentence.
"Is it Ashlee?" Pete sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Yes, it was Ashlee. Pete would rather have had Patrick berate him for not calling since last month than skip to the big problem right away, "It's...well yeah, but I mean...It's not something I should bother you with y'know? I just-" Pete paused unsure of how to finish his sentence.
There was a quiet lull, it wasn't probably as long as Pete felt, but none-the-less it forced him to finish lamely with a, "I just wanted to call and say 'hey'."
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Post by pattycakes on Mar 28, 2011 5:49:27 GMT -5
Unlacing one of his shoes, Patrick rolled his eyes at the phone. No matter how old Pete got or how many times he was told to talk about things, it always ended up the same. It's not that Patrick minded really, it wasn't a chore to talk to one of his best friends, he just wished that it was easier.
“Yeah, of course, that's the only reason you called.” He knew he had almost no chance of getting it out of him right away, it never worked like that, sadly. Maybe a little sweet talk would help, but Patrick hadn't done that in so long, he felt uncomfortable at the thought of it. That and it was Pete, he was his best friend and going through a divorce. That alone should have been it seem like a bad idea.
“So, Pete,” Patrick took the unlaced shoe off, throwing it over the edge of his bed, “how is the new album going for you and, what's her name, Bebe?” He pulled his sock off, throwing it after the shoe before shuffling around to unlace the other one. “Is it different working with a woman?”
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Post by Pete Wentz on Mar 28, 2011 5:59:54 GMT -5
Pete laughed into the speaker at the question, "It's going fine dude, the kids are pretty excited to hear it, not as much as they are and I am for Soul Punk though....and it's not much different. She complains about her hair, loves shoes and she sings....sound familiar?"
Pete flipped channels on the tv as he spoke, not really paying attention to what he landed on, the tv was muted anyhow.
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Post by pattycakes on Mar 28, 2011 6:24:44 GMT -5
Patrick laughed back, enjoying the happy sound from Pete, while he tugged off his other shoe. “Yeah right, they're not that excited, they just want to know what it was like working with the famous Pete Wentz.” Giving a grunt, he tugged his foot free, tossing the shoe down to the floor as well. The sock followed, just like before.
“I hope you're not talking about me, Peter, I don't think you really want to go there.” He snorted, putting one foot over the other and stretching his legs out across his bed. It's not like he would fall off, the bed was massive for someone as little as him. Why he had a bed this large, he still wasn't sure. It might have just been the novelty of being able to afford something this size that attracted him to it.
Switching hands, Patrick tugged one of the blankets over his lap, tucking his toes underneath it. “How did Ashlee feel about you working with a woman?”
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Post by Pete Wentz on Mar 28, 2011 6:35:03 GMT -5
Pete ended up tossing the remote down and lied down sideways on the couch, staring at the ceiling and listening to Patrick talk. He felt almost tired and relaxed at the calm familiarity. Well, until he brought up Ashlee again.
Pete sighed in defeat, letting himself speak about her, "She didn't really like the idea, hated it more when I would end up staying late at the studio, and then well...you see what happened when I told her I was going on tour...And no way dude, people are excited about Soul Punk because the amazing Patrick Vaughn Stump is writing, producing and playing everything on it. Stop selling yourself short....: Pete laughed lightly, "Pun intended."
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Post by pattycakes on Mar 28, 2011 7:12:05 GMT -5
Patrick hummed along as Pete spoke, nodding his head even though his friend couldn't see him. “You should have told me sooner that you guys were having troubles, I could have figured something out, come down and helped at the studio or something so she didn't think you two were up to anything while you were alone.” He shrugged to himself, slidding further down into the bed until he was almost laying down again. To have done that he would have had to give up his own studio time, but he didn't care, he didn't really want his studio time anyway.
Snorting back a laugh at the joke Pete thought was so very funny, Patrick closed his eyes and turned to the side. “Always with the short jokes. I'll have to start wearing high heels just to stop you, wont I?”
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Post by Pete Wentz on Mar 28, 2011 19:14:30 GMT -5
Pete laughed back, "Okay a) I was alone in the studio most of the time actually...trying to write y'know?; and b) I bet you'd look good in heels dude...and like, a mini dress. You have nice legs."
Pete didn't really think before he spoke around Patrick, he let him get the pure, unfiltered Wentzian speech. He was used to it, or at least he used to be. Pete started to worry he'd offended Patrick. Everything felt strange and stretched out on a time line that didn't include him, and that anything could throw him off of it now.
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Post by pattycakes on Mar 29, 2011 0:37:49 GMT -5
Clucking his tounge, Patrick shook his head. “You still should have called. I know you can write while I'm there, it would have kept her happy and this might not have happened.” He knew it wasn't true, Pete and Ashlee's marriage was shaky to begin with. That really wouldn't have helped solve the bigger problem, but it might have given them more time to work things out first before they went their seperate ways.
At the thought of the heels, Patrick stretched his legs out, pointing his toes before wriggling them with a laugh. “They would be so uncomfortable though, I think it's easier to just stay short.” He gave a low hum before adding, “Also, I'm not so sure about a mini dress either, it would have to be long enough to cover my knees before I even thought about it.”
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Post by Pete Wentz on Mar 29, 2011 1:27:45 GMT -5
Pete sighed quietly, hoping it wouldn't carry through the phone. He'd been beating himself up over everything already, and now he was stuck thinking that maybe if he'd called Patrick nothing bad would have happened. Pete was doomed from the beginning though, from conception to his deathbed he'd been bred to suffer. Or at least he let himself think that.
"They totally make like..Dr.Scholl's for heels now though, and I'd rub your feet if they hurt bad enough...you know me; people pleaser. And that's the point, your thighs have their own livejournal community dude."
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Post by pattycakes on Mar 29, 2011 4:06:12 GMT -5
Patrick winced at the sigh from Pete, knowing he'd said something wrong. It's not like he could help it, he had no idea what mood the other man was in. They had been apart for so long, how was he meant to know anymore?
Rolling over onto his back, he gave a sigh in return, rubbing his free hand over the bridge of his nose. It was an action he still kept from when he wore glasses that pressed in on the skin there, even though it was no use now. "I'll keep that in mind the next time I wear heels then." With a yawn, Patrick let his hand fall over his eyes. "And why do you know about a livejournal community for my thighs? That's a little creepy, don't you think? Actually, no, don't tell me."
Before he could say anything else, his stomach growled, louder than it had before. Maybe he should have just eated the first time he felt hungry, now he was comfortable in his bed and busy. It's not like it would be too hard to ignore though, he would just eat after the phone call. Placing his free hand over his stomach, Patrick coughed to cover up the next growl. "No, I think I'm still pretty stuck in my ways when it comes to a skirt, sorry Pete."
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