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Post by William Beckett on Apr 21, 2011 9:08:49 GMT -5
I hadn't left the apartment for days when they dragged me out. Every step made me dizzy, every movement was sucking at energy I didn't have. The wind would blow me over soon. I had to go out, they said, before I go crazy. Crazy-er.
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Post by Brendon Urie on Apr 22, 2011 8:09:36 GMT -5
"Bill, we all say you need a trip outside," I stated, dragging you out by the forearm.
"You look dreadful, you need a coffee."
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Post by William Beckett on Apr 23, 2011 4:46:30 GMT -5
I mumbled and nodded, pretending to agree. My mind was racing, counting the calories in a latte, a frap, every drink imaginable in every size portion, adjusting it to fit the various nearby coffee shops. Dear God, please don't let it be Starbucks.
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Post by Brendon Urie on Apr 23, 2011 5:05:06 GMT -5
"Because we had to hardly carry you out, we're taking you to this little coffee shop downtown." I staggered into a cab and dragged William in after me.
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Post by William Beckett on Apr 23, 2011 5:21:55 GMT -5
I followed the instructions. I sat in silence beside the boy and wondered where they were taking me, whether I'd be able to stick below my limit, whether I'd binge, if they'd let me get away with purging, if they knew that I'd even think these things at all. Though I protested silently, I did as I was told.
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Post by Brendon Urie on Apr 23, 2011 5:37:25 GMT -5
"Just here, thanks," I broke the silence only when we had to stop and the fare had to be payed. I pulled Will out with the least amount of force necessary.
"I don't want to do this either, if it makes you feel any better knowing that," I whispered, hoping that it'd change your attitude from defensive to apathetic, "I'm just trying to feed you, y'know, keep you alive."
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Post by William Beckett on Apr 23, 2011 5:55:08 GMT -5
I breathed in his ear, "If you tell anyone about me, I will hurt you." Brendon probably knew better than to take me too seriously and get upset. Probably. But I had to say something. No one was meant to fucking know. No one was meant to interfere. I didn't want to get better. Better is a misnomer. Eating makes things so much worse.
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Post by Brendon Urie on Apr 23, 2011 6:03:33 GMT -5
I clenched his hand in mine, heavily breathing, knowing he won't hurt me, but knowing he's still going to have a long way to go to revert to himself again.
"I understand that this is hard but, I just - you can't stay like this. I'll get you a skim latte, okay?" I almost sobbed as I opened the cafe door and shoved Bill through.
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Post by William Beckett on Apr 23, 2011 7:09:01 GMT -5
I wanted to throw up just from the smell of this place. The coffee, the bread, the fucking food. It made me feel so sick. "Hard is the understatement of the century."
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Post by Brendon Urie on Apr 23, 2011 8:04:25 GMT -5
I brought Bill his coffee and made sure he drank at least half the cup, and then escorted him outside.
"Uh... Yeah... Where to?"
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Post by William Beckett on Apr 23, 2011 10:08:45 GMT -5
"Are you going to watch every fucking move I make?"
I did always have an honesty policy.
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Post by Brendon Urie on Apr 23, 2011 17:41:54 GMT -5
"Yes, okay William?" I answered, sighing.
Why did they choose me to take William out today? It's not smart, I'm submissive and he's just pissed off. "Now where are we going? Your apartment is not an option."
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Post by William Beckett on Apr 23, 2011 21:58:38 GMT -5
I made a point of disapproving by sighing loudly before I spoke. "The library, I guess? Or a movie?"
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Post by Brendon Urie on Apr 23, 2011 22:28:03 GMT -5
I hailed a cab and gestured to William to get in.
I slid in after him. "Cinema please."
"And William, you know it'd be great if you chose the film today."
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Post by William Beckett on Apr 24, 2011 5:45:13 GMT -5
"Alright, okay. Fine. I guess." I didn't even know what was out. I hadn't watched tv for weeks, and I'd barely been online except for my occasional blogging. Whatever. I'd find something.
But when we pulled up at the cinemas, it wsas crowded and noisy and my t-shirt was too tight, these flares weren't baggy enough, the bandana tied around my knee didn't hide enough, I was too revealed and I was fucking terrified. People would see me, they'd guess, oh fuck. I couldn't get out, I couldn't move, I couldn't fucking deal with this.
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